The Last One

For Tristan and I’s last conversation, we met with Chris Appelman and his conversation partner as well because our partners knew each other. We figured that it would be a good opportunity to get more perspectives on issues that we talked about and possibly spark some new conversations. Tristan and Chris’s partner are both from China, but different areas of China. We all got a table in the BLUU and ate together for lunch. The conversation started with us talking about our plans for Thanksgiving break. Chris and I are leaving Fort Worth – I am going to South Texas and Chris is going back home to Boston. Both of our partners are staying in Fort Worth for the holiday. I felt a little bad because they couldn’t go home, I’m sure they wanted to be with their families because they have been away from them for so long. I thought that being away from my family that’s in New York is hard, I can’t imagine being away from my family for months on end while in a different country. I hope that Tristan has someone to eat a Thanksgiving dinner with. I asked him and he said that he should have plans and I hope those plans go through because no one should eat alone on Thanksgiving.

            From there, our conversation was extremely regular – like four good friends getting lunch together like they do every week. There were no times where I felt awkward for having nothing to talk about and our conversation seemed to flow from topic to topic. We bounced from shopping, to traveling, to music and Christmas gifts.

            What specifically interested me was our conversation on Christmas gifts. Apparently, they had never gotten their families Christmas gifts for the holidays and they were confused as to what they would buy their parents if they had to get them something. They were not accustomed to kin buying their own parents gifts for Christmas. So they asked Chris and me questions on what we get our siblings and our parents. Somewhat ashamed, I had to admit that I don’t actually buy my parents anything while Chris explained the kinds of gifts he usually gets his parents for Christmas. Then it was my turn to try and justify why I don’t buy my parents anything and to try and explain the system my family uses for gifts. My parents never want anything for Christmas. They tell my siblings and I never to get them anything, so we don’t. What happens is that my dad will buy my mom a gift and put all of our names on it, so no one has to compete over who got my mom the better gift. The same system is used when my mom buys my dad a gift. I don’t think that they quite understood the system, but it was worth a shot.

            Then we got on the topic of fake IDs somehow. I think it was because Tristan knows someone who might be interested in buying The Lab, a bar nearby. They were so intrigued by the fact that a lot of American students have fake IDs and wanted to know more about them. I talked to Chris about it afterwards and he said that his partner has brought up the subject before. I wonder why they are so interested in them. Maybe they want one? I don’t know, but I think that it is interesting that they are so interested in the subject.

            I must say that this conversation did not go as deep as Tristan and I’s conversations tend to be, but I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation equally to Tristan and I’s past conversations. I found myself laughing much more than I usually do, which was strange to me. No one said anything that was particularly funny to me, I just found myself laughing sometimes for no reason. It made me realize that laughter really is a social activity. I wouldn’t have laughed if I had just been talking with Tristan but because there were more people, I found myself laughing much more than normal. I guess it’s just because I wanted to share my joy and happiness with the people around me and make them feel as I was feeling as well. After all, humans are social beings and part of socialization is making people adapt to your norms. If my norm was laughter at that point, in my opinion it makes sense that I would try and get others to laugh as well.

            After I had left the BLUU I had realized how upset I was that it was my last conversation with Tristan. I immediately made it my job to make sure that it wasn’t the last time I got to talk to him. I texted Tristan after we parted and told him that if he ever had a performance, he needed to text me and let me know about it. I wanted to be in the audience. I also told him that if he ever needed anything to not hesitate to text me. I reflected back on our experiences together and could not be happier with the outcome and the process. I always felt like after we met I was happier and in a better mood than I was in before we met. I am grateful that I now have another friend and also thankful for the experience that allowed me to grow as a person. By hearing all of his perspectives on subjects it allows me to be more aware of other people’s views and opinions. I could not have had a better experience with my conversation partner.  

Serious Stuff

Well, I can definitely tell that Tristan is much more comfortable with me at this point in the semester because he has started the last two conversations with extremely serious and controversial topics. I started off the conversation by asking him how his day was going and how he was doing – the normal conversation starters. He responded by telling me he’s had a very long day and I could tell that there was something different about him; he wasn’t as happy as he usually is and he seemed like he was processing my words slower than usual as well. So I asked him what was wrong and why his day had been so long.

            He proceeded to tell me that late the night before he had received a phone call from a friend, who proceeded to tell Tristan that he was planning on killing himself. Obviously extremely worried about his friend, Tristan called a cab and went to go see his friend in a hurry. Needless to say, it was an extremely long night. I don’t feel comfortable sharing all of the details because Tristan confided that information in me and I don’t think they are necessary to share. Do not worry, the friend is now safe and there seems to be no other threats of suicide.

            But our conversation about his friend lead into a deeper conversation about suicide and why we think people do it. It just so happens that the night before our conversation I had watched a documentary on the “suicide forest” in Japan. If you have never heard of it before, it is a dense forest in Japan where people go when they feel they are no longer fit to live in society. Tristan and I began talking about how interesting it is that the tradition of suicide first started with the Japanese Samurai, as a noble way of death and now it has evolved into an escape from the world when people feel like society rejects them. Now of course that is not the only reason people decide to commit the act but we both agreed that it seemed the most prominent reason.        

            This conversation then turned into a conversation about unemployment because we were discussing the fact that some Americans commit suicide because of the economy and their lack of a job. I asked him if he thought this was the case in China and he said it was quite the opposite. He told me that the unemployment situation in China is much better than in the United States because China produces so many goods that factories are always looking for workers, so there are always jobs. I thought that was a good point. Then he went on to say that he thinks it’s remarkable how many people in the United States don’t know where their products are coming from. He has noticed that everything he sees in the United States is mostly made in China and he wonders why because he knows the United States has the capability to produce everything China does. I didn’t really want to get further into the conversation because I felt like it would lead to us arguing about which way is cheapest and who is more powerful in the international market, etc. So I switched the topic of conversation.

            In my Survey of World Music class we had just finished up our chapter on traditional Chinese music, so I was excited to talk to Tristan about it because I actually had some background in the topic. It was an enjoyable conversation – we talked about the different styles of zheng music in different regions of China and how the dynasties influenced music and of course, how Mao influenced Chinese culture. It felt good to finally be able to contribute in a conversation about China, especially since he was impressed with how much I knew about the traditional styles and instruments.

            In my music class, we had learned that the Chinese government was persecuting and taking advantage of minorities in China, such as the Tibetans. We were told that the Chinese government would take Tibetan folk music and say it was Chinese (that they had composed it), exploiting Tibetan achievements and then persecuting them in the process for resisting Chinese rule. I decided to ask Tristan what he thought about the issue because it seemed to me from our past conversations that he can look at the Chinese system of government from both a citizen’s and an outsider’s perspective quite well. I was extremely intrigued by his answer. He told me that the Chinese government did no such thing to the minority groups in China and in fact, gave Tibet millions to billions of Yen every year to help them develop further. I wasn’t going to question his answer because what sense would that make? I would be arguing with him over something I have never experienced or validated to be true, just something I was taught in class. As for the music aspect of exploitation, he said he had never heard of that before. I couldn’t help but think about which one of us was right. Had I been taught the wrong thing? Or had the Chinese government brainwashed him into thinking that they were helping the people they were actually hurting? It then made me question the education system in both countries. Most of the things I have learned about foreign countries while at college have been solely based on what my professors had told me. Now I’m sure that my professors are not purposely lying to me, if the information is, in fact, not true. But, I couldn’t help but think ‘how do I know what I’ve been told is true?’ I had never been to any of the countries that we have talked about and certainly never experienced anything we talked about either. All of my knowledge has come from what professors have told me was true. I must admit that it scared me to think that everything I had been told so far could possibly be a lie and there was probably no way I would ever find out if any of it was true or not.       

            I truly enjoyed this conversation with Tristan because it showed me that he trusts me with personal information. I had become a friend that he could tell his troubles to without hesitation and that meant a lot to me. I believe that trust is extremely important in any kind of social relationship with another person. I also enjoyed it because I was actually familiar with what we talked about when it pertained to China. I also think the moment of reflection I had about my education was important and influential to my attitude about the conversation.

             

I tried to think of a witty title, but I couldn't. Dang.

Today Tristan and I met, for our fourth conversation, in the BLUU auditorium lobby area for our conversation. As soon as the conversation began we started to talk about some pretty deep and controversial topics because he just came from a class where he had to debate gay marriage. We were talking about gay marriage in China as well as in the United States and he said that people here seem to be much more open to gay marriage than in China. We were talking about the fact that some states actually legalized gay marriage and he said that he thinks China is going to pass laws to protect gay rights for people. Since China is so populated they have a high gay population, so it would make sense to pass laws to protect their rights, although right now gay marriage is illegal in China. We both discussed our views on the topic, which were similar to each other, and from there went on to discuss drugs, alcohol, and race.

            He asked me what I thought about the drinking age being 21 in the United States and whether or not I thought that it should be lowered. I had to think about this for a second because I had never really considered what I thought about the law. I told him that I think no matter what the age becomes, people below the age are always going to try and drink. If anything, it would be smarter to raise it to 25 because that is when your brain is considered fully developed. But, raising it to 25 would cause way too many problems because there would be uproar against it. So I decided that it should stay where it is. He said that in China it is 18, but no one enforces the law and he believes it would be smarter if they were stricter about the law and raised it to 21 as well. He said that in China they consume a lot of alcohol and he doesn’t think that they should consume so much, especially at a young age. Then, drunk driving came up. He said that he couldn’t grasp why so many people in America drive while intoxicated and he wondered why they don’t stop because of the harm it is causing so many people. I didn’t have an answer for him. I felt bad that I didn’t have an answer for him because for some reason I feel obligated to have an answer for every question he asks about the United States. Maybe it’s because he always seems to have an answer for me when I ask about China. I think I also fear that I will look ignorant about my own country if I don’t have an answer for him when he asks me a question. Regardless, I had to tell him that I didn’t know why so many people do it and I agreed with him that it is a very bad thing and something that causes a lot of harm that should be stopped.

            After that topic we were talking about fall break. He asked me what I did and whether or not I had a good time and I asked him the same. Small talk. But then he said that he wishes he could get out of this place. That statement really caught me off guard. “What?” I asked, “Why would you say that?” He went on to tell me that he is really stressed out and that he needs to relax, but when he relaxes he gets more behind on things and he stresses out more. Then I realized he is a student just like me. I’m not sure why but I didn’t perceive him as having the same problems as I do and now I realize that it was extremely ignorant and stupid of me to think that way. So I began to talk to him about what was bothering him. He explained that the IEP is giving him a lot of stress because TCU is requiring him to be in the program but the scholarship he receives doesn’t cover the cost, so he has to pay for it with his money. He is frustrated at the fact that he is in the program in the first place, because he failed the English proficiency exam by one point. He said that he already knew how to speak English and to be put in the program just causes more stress and more work on him that he does not have the time for. So I tried to give him a little advice on the situation, but mainly just listened to him talk to me about it. Most of the time, people just need to talk to someone about their problems to get it off of their chest. So I was there to listen to everything that Tristan had to say to try and make him feel a little bit better about what he was going through. I felt really good knowing that he trusted me enough to talk to me about his problems and that he could open up to me and have faith in me to tell me these things. I can’t imagine how hard it is to attend school in another country that speaks a different language and then have something like the IEP program on top of school work. He works really hard every day and I feel bad that he feels as though there is no reward or results at the moment. I gave him some advice and told him to contact me anytime he needed anything and I wouldn’t hesitate to help him out. He ended our conversation by telling me that he always enjoyed meeting with me and always looked forward to it because he always left feeling happy. I returned his comment back to him, because I truly felt the same way. Leaving the auditorium I felt a sense of inner happiness and peace knowing that, even if it was just a little bit, I was relieving some of the stress that Tristan was feeling.

Buddhism

Tristan and I met for the third time the other day and unlike the other meetings, where I had thought about possible conversations before we met, I put no pre-thought into this meeting. I decided to go into the meeting and treat it like a normal conversation with no pre-planned topics. I now realize and think that this was the idea for the conversation meetings the entire time, treating our conversation partners as friends. Experiencing the conversations with this approach will allow us to not only learn about our conversation partner and their culture, but also prevent the conversation from having an interview type feel to it. Having an open-minded attitude about the conversation will allow for endless possibilities of where the conversation can go, instead of restricting the conversation by sticking to the topics pre-disposed in the mind. So, as I walked into the BLUU auditorium to talk to Tristan, I was excited and, honestly, a little nervous about the conversation that was about to happen. From reading some posts from my classmates, I feel as though I’d been going about the conversations all wrong since they seemed to have this feeling before their first meeting and this was my third meeting with Tristan. Tristan walked in after I had been sitting down for a few minutes and sat down across from me. We began to talk about our days and we went through the motions of typical conversation, talking about the weather and what we had planned for the day, etc. Then I had a thought. I don’t know where it came from, but I thought about Buddhism. For some reason, I have always been intrigued by Buddhism. I don’t really have a reason for it I guess; I just think it’s an interesting way of life. It dawned on me that my conversation partner was from China. So after my revelation I decided to ask him about it and what his thoughts on it were. Little did I know that Buddhism would consume the rest of our conversation. He began to tell me that he knew many Buddhists and that you can find them all over the place where he lives. He said that when he was little, he was always afraid of them. This struck me as odd because Buddhists have the reputation of being very calm, passive people who normally are not regarded as scary. He went on to tell me a story about when he visited a Buddhist monastery when he was younger. He said that the Buddhist’s had something about them that made them eerily mysterious to him. He wasn’t sure whether it was their clothes or their silence, but he knew that he didn’t like to be around them. I asked him if he still felt this way and he admitted that he does to some extent. Now that he isn’t as ignorant, their beliefs and actions make more sense to him but they still seem mysterious to him. Then he expressed a thought that was really interesting. He brought up the government in China and how they are afraid. When he said that I had no idea where he was going with this idea and I couldn’t wait to find out. He said that he believes the government is fearful that someone will undermine them and challenge their authority. They do not want new ideas getting introduced to society and that is why they exercise such tight control over the population. Tristan believes that Buddhism is a tool used by the government to manipulate society. Due to the extreme hierarchal structure that is present, if the government controls the religion, then the government controls society. He said that the government would prefer if people repressed their personalities and by controlling the religion that dominates the country, they can also control the people in the society. The government exploits the religion to depress people and keep social order. I thought to myself, “Well, it obviously isn’t working very well if Tristan thinks and recognizes all of this”. I was amazed by his ideas and thoughts on the topic. Now I have no way of telling if this is true or if there is even any evidence to back up his claims. But his perspective is what interested me. What awed me was the fact that he thought of all of these ideas and was actually beginning to convince me that the government used Buddhism as a method of exercising their control, and I know nothing about the religion! It made me realize how easily people can be taken control of if they follow a religion, or any organization for that matter, basing their decisions on the words of a spokesperson. Is this is the type of phenomenon that occurs in the moments we hear of in history and think ‘Why would anyone follow that’? I don’t know, but I thought it was interesting to think about because I had never experienced that before. Overall I really enjoyed our conversation and the new perspective and insight that I gained on the Buddhism religion. I look forward to meeting with him again. 

Conversation #2

Tristan and I met again last week in Market Square of the BLUU. Our conversation started off very general, asking each other how our days were going and how classes were going. Then I found out that Tristan actually lives in Irving and he has to commute to campus every day, which makes things difficult for him. I was intrigued as to why he lived so far from campus and turns out he is living for free in an apartment that someone is loaning to him. That person just happens to be a producer of “Prison Break”. How on earth did Tristan know him? While Tristan was performing in Hong Kong, the producer was at the performance and they were introduced to each other after the show. When Tristan came to the United States, the two reconnected and the producer offered up an apartment he owned while Tristan was studying at TCU. To me, it seemed as though Tristan had a really nice life in Beijing. He was playing shows in Hong Kong, which were apparently pretty prestigious if he had the producer of “Prison Break” attending them, he had worked the Olympics, and was in the best school in Beijing for piano performance. So why come here? I had to ask him this because it was hard for me to comprehend what he found so great about this place compared to his homeland. What he said was that the TCU piano performance professor had known him when he lived in Beijing and they were in contact regularly and became good friends. Tristan said that this professor is the reason he came to TCU to study. He says that TCU is very nice to international students and he loved the American culture, so it was an easy decision for him to make. After talking about his decision to come to the United States, I started to ask Tristan questions about health care in Beijing. I was learning about it in my Survey of Nursing class and couldn’t pass up to opportunity to actually ask someone who had experienced it. He said that he believes the medicine system in China is totally misusing Western Medicine. I asked him what he meant and he said that all of the doctors will give people antibiotics for anything they come in with, even if it is a slight cold or fever. He said that over here, doctors have very strict rules with what they can do. Over there, the doctors use the medicine with little restriction. This was odd to me because from what he’s told me in the past, the country is extremely strict and it is odd to me that the medicine is so lenient. I then started asking him about traditional medicine practices and whether he thinks that they work or not. Things like cupping, coining and acupuncture. For those that don’t know what these are, cupping is a traditional practice in which different sized glass cups are heated up and placed on the skin, forcing the skin to be suctioned into the cup due to the difference in pressure. Coining is a traditional practice where the edges of a coin are rubbed, hard, along the back and front of the body, pushing out the evil spirits. I assume most of you know what acupuncture is, but for those that don’t: acupuncture is the practice of inserting extremely fine needles into one’s skin at various pressure points throughout the body. Tristan believes that cupping and acupuncture work, but that in the hospitals over there, you will find Western Medicine. Some people in China believe that Western Medicine has adverse side effects to their bodies and refuse to take any medications or see health care professionals that are not traditional spiritual healers. He also believes that some aspects of the Eastern Medicine where he lives are completely ridiculous, like the belief that animals influence your health. He went on to explain to me that people believe that turtles have the power to cure cancer. This is the belief for other animals as well, I just can’t remember the specific examples he gave me. I thought that it was extremely insightful and quite culturally relative of him to look at his own culture through that lens. I am impressed with his ability to analyze and discuss his own culture, especially the things that he doesn’t agree with. I understand how hard it is to analyze and discuss something you have been immersed in all of your life. I told him that I was extremely impressed with his ability to do so and also with his wide knowledge of topics. He was shocked. He said that it was very nice of me to think that, but it was not true. We ended our conversation there, for he had to get to class. I look forward to meeting with him again. 

AIDS

Recently I watched a video on Netflix called House of Numbers. The movie was recommended to me by my Sociology professor. I didn’t really want to watch it, I must admit, because it was about AIDS and I watched multiple videos on AIDS in my AP Biology class when I was in high school. I’m not sure what compelled me to, but I watched the movie anyway. I guess I just figured I would refresh my memory about the syndrome because I couldn’t really remember what it was. I’m not going to bore you with all of the facts thrown out by the movie; I realize that numbers don’t appeal to everyone. But what the movie was saying intrigued me. Basically what the director did was go around the world, asking renowned scientists and researchers about HIV and AIDS and what their views on the two were, and what their definitions of them were. One thing most of them said was that the situation is not getting better. No one to this day has been cured of AIDS. The reason for this varies among the experts, but most believe it is because the drug companies make so much money off of the people living with the virus and the syndrome that they do not want to find a cure because it would significantly decrease profits. Regardless of the reason we do not have a cure, everyone that becomes infected with the virus and then the syndrome will die because of it. This idea is literally the only thing that the experts agree on. I wasn’t as intrigued by the facts in the movie as I was by the disagreement between the experts. I was blown away that these were the people we were supposed to be looking to for correct and definite information about the issue and they all disagreed with each other. Some experts said that AIDS was a chronic disease while others said that it wasn’t a disease at all. The actual definition of what AIDS is has changed so many times that the scientists and experts don’t even know what the definition is anymore. Since there is no universal definition, different countries use different definitions. You can be deemed infected with AIDS in Canada and then walk across the border into the United States and be deemed a healthy individual. How is that possible? Then I thought that if there is no universal definition, how are the statistics calculated? The director actually answers the question later on in the movie as he goes to the World Health Organization to get the official statistics on the AIDS infection count. What he finds is that even the World Health Organization doesn’t have official numbers; they only have assumptions and estimations. This absolutely amazed me. AIDS is deemed as a major world issue: there are ads all over the world advocating for safe sex to combat AIDS, education on it is implemented into the health curriculum, and people have completely altered their lifestyle because of it. In the United States people in California are even given special benefits for having AIDS. They get free living, a free cleaning service, and a handicap parking spot. Yet, the World Health Organization doesn’t even know how many people actually have it. It just astonishes me that we know almost nothing about AIDS and it has such influential power. There aren’t even accurate tests to determine if someone has AIDS or HIV. At AIDS testing centers in Africa they give you three tests to determine if you are infected. If the first two match, you most likely have it. If they differ, then a third test is used as the final determinant. Why wouldn’t they just use the third test in the first place? Because the test is not always accurate and can’t be used to determine infection by itself. For this reason, you can go to different cities in Africa and get different results. So then why would people get the test if they can’t get a definite answer? That doesn’t make sense to me, it just seems like unneeded stress. Most countries in the world use the Western Blot test to diagnose infection. Experts disagree on whether this test is sufficient enough or should be used in combination with other tests or not used at all. Another issue, besides the debate on whether it is actually effective, with the Western Blot is that what is categorized as AIDS depends on the manufacturer of the test. Each manufacturer has different criteria for what is determined as AIDS based on the test results. Also, studies have recently come out that state that HIV is extremely difficult to transmit through sexual intercourse, contrary to popular belief. They tracked down and interviewed hundreds of people who had unprotected sex with a partner that was deemed to have HIV to see how many had the virus transmitted to them. What did they find? None of them got the virus. Zero. Research continues to support the idea that HIV is almost impossible to transmit through unprotected sex. So, in conclusion, I still have no idea what to make of the AIDS and HIV scare. I don’t know if I should believe the numbers and what the experts are saying if they can’t seem to agree with one another. The issues with the tests are also kind of alarming to me. It just amazes me that something that is so mysterious and undefined can have such an influence on an entire population. It makes me wonder what makes something a social problem and another thing not. I am beginning to think that it depends on society’s reaction to the problem. There is no telling how long the AIDS mystery will linger, but my guess is that it is nowhere near disappearing.  

Uncontrollable Laughter #2

Today I walked into the basement lounge of Milton Daniel. It happens to be right next to my room, so I tend to visit the lounge frequently because people are always baking and I can smell what they are making due to my proximity to the room. My roommate and I were extremely bored between classes and smelled brownies being baked, so we decided to check it out and see if we could get some brownies while we waited for class to start. We entered the lounge to find our two friends, Ashley and Chris, baking the brownies. We kindly asked if we could have some of the brownies when they were done cooking and they were generous enough to give us some of the brownies. But now we were presented with a dilemma. We had 25 minutes before the brownies were done and of course they had to cool off for a little while after they came out of the oven. So, I decided to see what we around the room that we could play with for a little while. I found some extra eggs that Chris and Ashley hadn’t used in the batter for the brownies. Jackpot. At first, we just started throwing the eggs around at each other, kind of in a hot potato fashion. As we were playing “hot egg”, I had a revelation. My grand moment of clarity was to see if I could trick my roommate into thinking that you cannot break an egg if you press on the sides as hard as you can. Now, before you go ranking on my roommate for actually doing something this stupid and sketchy, there actually is some truth to it. If you take an egg and put the butt end and the pointy end in between your hands at the base of your palms, it is indeed impossible to break an egg. You can try it if you truly desire, I promise it will not break if you do it correctly. The problem is, not many people know the correct placement and technique when they press against the egg so it does not break. Usually what happens is that the egg will slide slightly from its original position, throwing the balance and distribution of the pressure off. This results in the egg breaking. Luckily, I know how to do it so that the egg will not break, even if I use all of what little strength I have to attempt to crush it in between my hands. So, I showed Hunter, my roommate, that it is in fact impossible to break the egg if it’s in this position. I told him that he needs to give it a try and at first he refused. But I used good old peer pressure to finally get the once reluctant roommate to agree to try it. The only condition he had was that he wanted to do it over the sink just in case something went wrong. I said that was perfectly fine. So, I handed him the egg and he proceeded to walk over to the sink. He positioned the egg in between his palms and my friend Chris got his video camera ready. Hunter began to press against the egg. At first, everything happened as it was supposed to. He couldn’t break the egg because he was timid about putting pressure on the egg because he didn’t want it to break all over him and the clothes he was wearing. To my delight, after seeing that it actually works he gained the confidence to try again, but this time giving it all of his strength. Going with my expectations perfectly, the excess force caused his hands to move slightly thus causing the egg to burst all over him, the sink, the cabinets above the sink, and the wall behind the sink. Chris and I broke into immediate uncontrollable laughter. Tears streaming down our face when he turned to us and his hair was drenched in egg, he stormed out of the room while uttering the words “I hate y’all”. Unfortunately, this seems to be a common exchange between my roommate and me because he seems to be the cause of my laughter quite often. He’s a good sport about it though and usually gets over what had happened within a few minutes. What caused me to laugh was a combination of laughing at his misfortune and the fact that what I thought was going to happen actually worked and went as planned. The astonishment of things actually going as planned was just an addition to my source of laughter. Was it the superiority theory? I think there was certainly an aspect of it. I felt that I had outsmarted him and tricked him into doing something that I had suspected would happen and it amused me that he was gullible enough to actually try it. Am I saying that I’m more intelligent than him? Of course not. But I certainly felt like I was for that short amount of time and it helped to contribute to my laughter in addition to laughing at his physical humor, thinking that I was glad it was not me. To make this story more visible, I will attempt to get the video posted on my blog as well, so that hopefully you all can share my laughter at this event. 

Conversation #1

Today I sat down with my conversation partner for the first time. The beginning was a little awkward because he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He thought that he had to do work as well. When I informed him that he didn’t have to do anything, he seemed much more relieved and relaxed in our conversation. From there we started with the basics. His name is Gang Tian, but he likes to be called Tristan because that is what everyone calls him and that is what he is used to. When I asked him why, he said he didn’t know, but he liked it. It is a 20 hour flight from Dallas to Beijing, China, where Tristan lives. There are no direct flights to Dallas from his airport so he has to have a layover. He is majoring in piano performance, an instrument he has been playing since he was 6 years old. Our conversation jumped around through extremely diverse conversation topics, with no real order or pattern to the things we talked about. We would be talking about one thing, and then the next thing we know we’re on a completely different topic with no recollection of how we got there. I think that’s a good thing though. It shows that we had a lot to talk about and that the conversation was interesting and engaging. As it turns out, Tristan has been in many states. More than I have been. I questioned myself as to why that is, because it made me feel almost unpatriotic that I had to ask someone from a different country what California is like or what St. Louis is like. Going into the conversation I was certainly not expecting to be asking him what certain states in the US were like. He was in so many different states because he had to do a bunch of auditions for colleges and they were spread out across the country. He says that his favorite state is California because the people are really friendly and the weather is very nice. He actually got to stay in New York for a month, about 30-45 minutes from where I live, which was an instant connection and excitement for me because I got to ask him some questions about my home town. I asked him to compare New York City to Beijing, considering that they are both big, major cities. He said that New York had more freedom. Compared to Beijing it was extremely open and you had the liberty to do what you wanted. In Beijing, he says, you have certain roles and expectations that are associated with your age in society. At his age, you are expected to go to school and to study. You have to do it. But in New York, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Although it is normal to do so, you are not forced by your government or by your society to do so. Now on that point I disagreed with him to some extent. I said that in America it’s true that education is not forced on you. But higher education degrees are getting so common that it is hard to find a job with a college degree. Therefore, if it is hard to find a job and you possess a college degree, which means almost everyone else has a college degree as well. So I said that if you really think about it, it’s almost like you are forced to get an education, otherwise it’s almost impossible to get a job. He said I talked too fast for him to understand all of what I was saying, so I just laughed it off and said let’s get back to New York. He went on to say that diversity is much more popular in New York City, to which I thought that it was a proper statement considering it is called the “melting pot”. Then he said something that surprised me. He said that not a lot of foreigners are welcome in Beijing. Beijing’s very historical and traditional compared to New York and because of that, the government and its citizens do not take well to foreigners. I asked why else he thinks that is the case, and he continued to surprise me with his answers. He said that the people in power are extremely selfish. They think that they deserve all of the resources in their country and the foreigners shouldn’t get any access to them because they do not live there or contribute to the making of the resources they have. The government is extremely restrictive of what its citizens can do. They can’t access facebook or youtube because the government feels that it will influence their thought patterns and make them realize that their country is not good. In turn, these thoughts will gain followers and there will be a rebellion among the people that want a new government. Tristan said that if someone wants to travel from Beijing to Hong Kong, they need to get permits and visas to do so. “What other country makes you get visas to visit a city in your own country?” he asks me, “It’s like you want to visit Fort Worth, but you need a permit and a visa to do so because you’re from New York”. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I had always heard that we had freedom and we were lucky to live in such a great country, but had never realized it until talking to Tristan. I truly am blessed to live in a place where I can access facebook and youtube every day if I wanted to. Then I thought about what he had said about the rejection of foreigners in his country because I was thinking of the Olympics and how that had worked if they typically rejected foreigners. He said that it wasn’t a problem, and living there during the Olympics was crazy and terrific at the same time. He actually volunteered for the diving program at the Olympics and got to help athletes change their clothes or just be a tour guide for them. Sticking on the topic of foreigners, I asked him what it was like to come to a country like the United States, one with no definite culture and no official language, being an outsider. Was it hard to adapt? How did you find the different norms and values to be? He said that the transition wasn’t difficult at all. This really surprised me because I was expecting him to say that it wasn’t easy because it was so different. But he said that it is easy to adapt because the people are so nice in America. They welcome people from the outside. He said that his roommate is especially helpful because even though his English is broken, he still understands everything that he says and is willing to help. He loves the food here. He says that the food is also very easy to adapt to. Back home, he ate a lot of noodles and dishes that his mom would make. These dishes consisted of frying anything that she had lying around the house. They have a lot of fast food in China because it is so convenient and they don’t have time to cook. He said that the Chinese don’t eat very healthy and that he thinks American’s diets are much healthier. This shocked me. Americans are typically described as fat, lazy people by outsiders. But he believed that we eat healthier than most Chinese people in Beijing. What?! I asked him what he meant and why he thought that because I was so perplexed by his answer and he said that people never eat fruit where he is from and everyone loves to drink alcohol. There is no age limit where he lives so people consume mass amounts. They also smoke a lot. He thinks that people don’t care that they will get cancer and because that in Beijing people don’t typically exercise or work out very often, the health of his city is much worse than the health in the United States. We talked about much, much more but I will save the content for more write-ups because I can go on for quite some time about our conversation. After our conversation was over I found myself thinking about everything he had said to me. I just couldn’t believe life was so different for him. Could I have really been so ignorant to what his culture and everyday life was like? In a way, it made me question my own intelligence and realize that I wasn’t culturally aware what so ever. How could it be possible that I was so ignorant? I’m extremely happy to have this opportunity though, because it has exploited something about me that I need to develop and work on and I look forward to my other meetings with Tristan, to learn more about him, his family, and his culture. 

Are Women Actually Equal To Men?

While sitting in sociology class (I have come to realize that this class makes me think about things more than I ever have before) we were talking about gender roles and socialization in society. Don't worry, you don't have to know anything about socialization to understand what I'm about to rant about. So we were sitting in class talking about gender roles in our society and people were arguing that the roles of men and women have changed so that women were equal with men in our society. I couldn’t help but argue with their views. I promise I’m not saying that women’s roles in society haven’t increased in reputation; there is no doubt in my mind that women have made big advancements in society. My argument is that women are still perceived as inferior to men.

Even from when children are first born, boys and girls are treated differently from one another. Boys are automatically associated with blue and girls are associated with pink. If a couple walks down their street with a boy dressed in pink, I’m sure that people who stop to see the baby will be extremely perplexed and even think of the couple as weird. This is because the couple would be breaking the social norm that blue is for boys and pink is for girls. Even as the kids continue to grow they are treated differently. The games boys and girls play are different. Have you ever heard of a group of boys playing house? Not likely, because girls are supposed to be playing house and other games that focus on group work, nurturing, and communication. Society expects girls to act this way. Boys are supposed to play cops and robbers or superheroes. Games that involve competition and fighting bad guys, games that have a winner and a looser, are reserved for boys.

Besides the fact that boys and girls are raised differently, in adulthood I believe that women are still treated as inferior to men. I think two things that advocate for this view are salaries and jokes. Women get paid less than men do for doing the same work. What sense does that make? If two people do the same thing, it would be logical to assume that they receive the same compensation for their work. But that just isn’t the case. Getting paid less for the same job is just reinforcing the fact that women are inferior to men. Another way women are reminded they are inferior to men is in the popular jokes in our society and culture. People constantly joke about women not being able to drive like men, that women only belong in the kitchen, or women, especially blonde women, are less intelligent than men. It is the consistency and normality of these jokes that is the problem. The fact that people don’t see anything wrong with them proves that our society truly believes women are inferior to men, because if it didn’t the majority of people would take offense to these jokes, even if they were told to men. We have become desensitized to the issue of gender in our society because of the role that these types of jokes play. They enable degrading comments about women to become a normalcy in our society.

Another way to look at the inequality between men and women would be through sports. There’s a reason that women professional sports’ ticket sales are so much lower than male professional sports’ ticket sales. People don’t have an interest in women’s sports, furthermore reinforcing the fact that men are superior to women. The WNBA doesn’t even get all of its games televised. In fact, during the summer, which is the offseason for the NBA and the in-season for the WNBA, the NBA still gets more coverage than the WNBA on ESPN. How is that possible? The NBA doesn’t even have any games going on. Just out of curiosity, I asked 10 people that were passing by me in my dorm if they knew when the WBNA season was in season. 1 out of 10 actually knew. The other responses? A mix of “I have absolutely no idea”, “come on, nobody actually watches that”, and “why are you asking me about a women’s sport”. One of the people I asked actually told me an interesting statistic, I’m not sure if it’s true, but he told me that around 80% of people would rather receive 5 dollars than have their WNBA team win the finals. Now, this could be entirely false, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it were true.

Are women actually equal to men? I believe that society reinforces everyday that they still have yet to reach this feat. Is their standing in society getting better? Yes it is. But if society’s norms towards women continue the way they are now, it may be some time before women are actually considered fully equal to men. 

First Bout of Uncontrollable Laughter

Last night, or I should say this morning I guess, at around 1:30 in the morning one of my roommates excused himself to use the restroom. As the room was already dark, I saw this as an amazing opportunity to scare him when he came back. I warned my other roommate, who was laying in his bed, about my plan and began executing it. I shut off the rest of the lights. I assumed my roommate would think nothing of it because it was late and I thought that he would think my other roommate and I went to sleep. I then hid in the closet that is closest to the door into our room. As I was anticipating my roommate’s return from the bathroom, my other roommate and I began to laugh uncontrollably. I could envision what was about to take place and my roommate’s reaction to being scared and I just began to shake with uncontrollable laughter. At this point my other roommate, the one lying in his bed (I know it gets a little confusing trying to follow which roommate is which, sorry about that), looked at me laughing uncontrollably and began to laugh himself. We were both picturing the events that were about to unfold in front of us. After we regained composure, the door opened and the light from the hallway made its way into our room. I began to shake with laughter once again and almost blew the whole operation but thankfully someone in the hallway called my roommate’s name and he had to go back outside. I finally collected myself once again. The door opened. I prepared myself for what was about to happen and waited a few seconds. I wanted my roommate to take a couple steps in the room so he could be aware of his surroundings before I scared him because I find that sometimes if people are confused, the effect of them being scared isn't as great as it can be. I also wanted to give the door a chance to close as much as possible, so it was as dark as possible. I finally jumped out of the closet and screamed as my roommate was walking by. His reaction was priceless. He reacted by dropping his jaw wider than anyone I have ever seen, bulging his eyes, raising his hands, and screaming at the top of his lungs. It had never occurred to me before this point that I might actually be putting myself in danger by doing this to him. When he raised his hands, I thought that he actually might hit me. I hadn't thought about that possibility before I thought of the plan. But, needless to say I laughed uncontrollably for about 3 minutes straight otherwise I wouldn't be writing this blog. Once I stopped laughing, I thought about his reaction and began to laugh uncontrollably once again. My roommate that was lying in bed also laughed uncontrollably as well at his reaction. The roommate that was scared, however, did not find this even to be particularly funny. I had expected him to act this way because we were gaining pleasure at his expense. He actually at one point told me he hated me. So, how were we each affected by this experience? Well the roommate that was lying in his bed and I got a great abs workout and the victim of my prank got the scare of his life time and was probably unable to fall asleep for a while because his body was pumping with adrenaline from his flight-or-fight response. So, it had a positive effect on two of us and a negative effect on one. And I guess it was only really humorous to my one roommate and me because we were not the victim of the prank. This makes me think that humor has to be something positive to be considered humor to people because my roommate who was scared certainly doesn’t think that the situation was humorous. I personally also think that humor can be used in negative ways to hurt people’s feelings or make them feel bad about themselves. But I think that in this situation, it is only perceived as humor to the people that are benefiting at the expense of the victim of the cruel humor. The victim certainly won’t find their version of humor funny. So I think that humor needs to be perceived as positive in order to be considered humor. Was this prank a bad thing to do? Was it cruel? I think that if I didn’t know my roommates as well as I do it would be a different story but because we are so close, I don’t think that this necessarily makes me a bad person. Of course, you are all entitled to your own opinions of whether this prank was a bad or good idea on my part.

Garbage Men and Doctors

We were sitting in Introduction to Sociology on Wednesday and my professor started to talk about the Conflict Theory. The conflict theory suggests that certain sociologists look at society through a lens that emphasizes the tensions within society. So, instead of looking at things with a positive outlook or figuring out the different parts of society and what make them work, Conflict Theorists focus on the tensions between groups in society. They see some groups taking advantage of and benefiting at the expense of other groups. While talking about the Conflict Theory, my professor brought up communism. I must admit that I began to tune out the lecture on focus on things I deemed more important because communism has never been an interesting topic in my opinion. Then my professor said something that caught my attention and made me think. He started talking about a garbage man and a doctor and asked why we pay doctors more. I began to think. Why do we pay doctors more? Sure, they have much more schooling and education compared to a garbage man. But which one do you depend on more from a day to day basis? Do you see your doctor every day? I would hope not. But your garbage man comes by almost every day and cleans up after you. Looking at it from this perspective, you depend on a garbage man much more than a doctor on a day to day basis. But yet, a doctor has much more respect and authority than a garbage man does. Which do you need more? Yes, there are multiple cases where doctors are needed to save lives, but you can also say the same for garbage men believe it or not. What would happen if they never came to pick up your trash every morning? Where would it go? Trash would build up in the cities, the streets, and in people’s homes. Conditions would become unsanitary. Diseases would be able to thrive and flourish and then you would depend on your doctor on a daily basis. Now do garbage men actually save lives? Probably not, that’s a hard argument to fight. But they certainly do you a favor by making your living conditions sanitary and habitable. Getting back to their respective salaries, why do doctors get paid so much more? Yes, they have longer hours and much more education. And in many people’s eyes the doctor’s job is much more important. I’m not saying that doctor’s don’t deserve the respect and the salaries that they get; I’m just saying that I think you should reconsider some other people’s worth. Maybe we should lower doctor’s salaries a little bit so people like garbage men get some more money for doing a job that we depend on much more frequently than a doctor. Is there another interest being served here? There is certainly more money to be made in the medicinal industry in comparison to the sanitary department. From a Conflict Theorist’s perspective, it would seem as if one group is taking advantage of and benefiting at the expense of another group. Whose interest is truly being served? Is it for the greater good of the public? Does it benefit us? I’m not sure. For one thing, I’ll tell you that I’m extremely grateful to be seen by a good doctor when I become ill or when I am in need of health services. But I can also say that I need a garbage man much more frequently than I need a doctor. I think that both jobs are extremely important. In some circumstances, one seems to be much more important than the other. So I think that they both have their moments of benefiting society. But are the doctor’s moments of glory and aid really that much better than a garbage man’s? Whoever is reading this probably thinks that I’m crazy. I assure you that I am quite sane. I also can assure you that I am not a communist. These are just some thoughts that popped into my head during class while thinking about the issues we were discussing at the time. You don’t have to agree with everything or anything I’m saying, but I think it would be worthwhile if you took some time and thought about some of these ideas as well. 

What Is Literature?

The other day in class we were discussing the meaning of literature and trying to categorize different books, maps, brochures, etc. into what we thought was literature and what we thought didn’t make the cut. After, we went around the class and attempted to define what we thought literature was, only to find that it was quite subjective and not really something that everyone can agree on. So, after class I was thinking about our discussion and people’s opinions on what they thought literature was and I started to come up with my own definition. While I think it is impossible to put an objective definition to something subjective, this is what I came up with. I think that literature is like music. In music, technically, in order to be called music it needs to be intended to be heard as music by its composer and also needs to be perceived as music by its audience. For example, there is a piece of music called 4’33” (4 Minutes 33 Seconds) which consists of a pianist walking out on stage, starting a stop watch, flipping the pages of the score at directed times, getting up and taking a bow, and waking off the stage. The pianist never plays a note. Most people wouldn’t consider this music. But, composer John Cage intended it to be music. The music, he claims, is the sounds of the pianist’s footsteps across the stage, the sound of the stopwatch, the coughing from the audience, and the hum of the air conditioner in the background. What makes it music is that people in the audience actually perceived it as music and, while at first they were skeptical, eventually people began to applaud John Cage for his work of music. I believe that this also refers to literature as well. Just as we all have different favorite music artists, we also all have different favorite authors. I actually believe that literature and music can be very similar in their subjective definitions. An older person probably doesn’t consider screamo music to actually be categorized as music. This is because they do not perceive it as music. But there are plenty of teens around the country and the world that perceive it as music and listen to it on a daily basis. “50 Shades of Gray” is a popular book that many people perceive as literature. My roommate doesn’t perceive it that way. My roommate believes that it is “fan-fiction” and doesn’t deserve to be called literature. There are plenty of people who read “50 Shades of Gray” and believe it to be a captivating piece of literature that they enjoyed reading. What I’m saying is that music and literature are similar because they are perceived differently by different people. The perception of both literature and music vary with generation, age, gender, and race. It’s not a coincidence that Twilight appeals to many girls and does not appeal to a majority of guys. It is because Twilight was perceived as literature much more commonly in girls. Another example would be Moby Dick or Grapes of Wrath. People of older generations and age will consider these two novels to be literature. But people of my generation and age group, including teens in high school, would dread reading both novels because they are long and considered to be a dry read by most people of that sociodemographic. That particular sociodemographic is more likely to consider texting and digital messages like e-mails as literature. My point is I believe that literature is something that needs to be intended to be literature by its author and perceived to be literature by an audience. That is what makes something literature. There is no concrete definition that will be able to sort a collection of words into piles of ‘literature’ and ‘not literature’. Everybody’s pile is different.