Serious Stuff

Well, I can definitely tell that Tristan is much more comfortable with me at this point in the semester because he has started the last two conversations with extremely serious and controversial topics. I started off the conversation by asking him how his day was going and how he was doing – the normal conversation starters. He responded by telling me he’s had a very long day and I could tell that there was something different about him; he wasn’t as happy as he usually is and he seemed like he was processing my words slower than usual as well. So I asked him what was wrong and why his day had been so long.

            He proceeded to tell me that late the night before he had received a phone call from a friend, who proceeded to tell Tristan that he was planning on killing himself. Obviously extremely worried about his friend, Tristan called a cab and went to go see his friend in a hurry. Needless to say, it was an extremely long night. I don’t feel comfortable sharing all of the details because Tristan confided that information in me and I don’t think they are necessary to share. Do not worry, the friend is now safe and there seems to be no other threats of suicide.

            But our conversation about his friend lead into a deeper conversation about suicide and why we think people do it. It just so happens that the night before our conversation I had watched a documentary on the “suicide forest” in Japan. If you have never heard of it before, it is a dense forest in Japan where people go when they feel they are no longer fit to live in society. Tristan and I began talking about how interesting it is that the tradition of suicide first started with the Japanese Samurai, as a noble way of death and now it has evolved into an escape from the world when people feel like society rejects them. Now of course that is not the only reason people decide to commit the act but we both agreed that it seemed the most prominent reason.        

            This conversation then turned into a conversation about unemployment because we were discussing the fact that some Americans commit suicide because of the economy and their lack of a job. I asked him if he thought this was the case in China and he said it was quite the opposite. He told me that the unemployment situation in China is much better than in the United States because China produces so many goods that factories are always looking for workers, so there are always jobs. I thought that was a good point. Then he went on to say that he thinks it’s remarkable how many people in the United States don’t know where their products are coming from. He has noticed that everything he sees in the United States is mostly made in China and he wonders why because he knows the United States has the capability to produce everything China does. I didn’t really want to get further into the conversation because I felt like it would lead to us arguing about which way is cheapest and who is more powerful in the international market, etc. So I switched the topic of conversation.

            In my Survey of World Music class we had just finished up our chapter on traditional Chinese music, so I was excited to talk to Tristan about it because I actually had some background in the topic. It was an enjoyable conversation – we talked about the different styles of zheng music in different regions of China and how the dynasties influenced music and of course, how Mao influenced Chinese culture. It felt good to finally be able to contribute in a conversation about China, especially since he was impressed with how much I knew about the traditional styles and instruments.

            In my music class, we had learned that the Chinese government was persecuting and taking advantage of minorities in China, such as the Tibetans. We were told that the Chinese government would take Tibetan folk music and say it was Chinese (that they had composed it), exploiting Tibetan achievements and then persecuting them in the process for resisting Chinese rule. I decided to ask Tristan what he thought about the issue because it seemed to me from our past conversations that he can look at the Chinese system of government from both a citizen’s and an outsider’s perspective quite well. I was extremely intrigued by his answer. He told me that the Chinese government did no such thing to the minority groups in China and in fact, gave Tibet millions to billions of Yen every year to help them develop further. I wasn’t going to question his answer because what sense would that make? I would be arguing with him over something I have never experienced or validated to be true, just something I was taught in class. As for the music aspect of exploitation, he said he had never heard of that before. I couldn’t help but think about which one of us was right. Had I been taught the wrong thing? Or had the Chinese government brainwashed him into thinking that they were helping the people they were actually hurting? It then made me question the education system in both countries. Most of the things I have learned about foreign countries while at college have been solely based on what my professors had told me. Now I’m sure that my professors are not purposely lying to me, if the information is, in fact, not true. But, I couldn’t help but think ‘how do I know what I’ve been told is true?’ I had never been to any of the countries that we have talked about and certainly never experienced anything we talked about either. All of my knowledge has come from what professors have told me was true. I must admit that it scared me to think that everything I had been told so far could possibly be a lie and there was probably no way I would ever find out if any of it was true or not.       

            I truly enjoyed this conversation with Tristan because it showed me that he trusts me with personal information. I had become a friend that he could tell his troubles to without hesitation and that meant a lot to me. I believe that trust is extremely important in any kind of social relationship with another person. I also enjoyed it because I was actually familiar with what we talked about when it pertained to China. I also think the moment of reflection I had about my education was important and influential to my attitude about the conversation.