I tried to think of a witty title, but I couldn't. Dang.

Today Tristan and I met, for our fourth conversation, in the BLUU auditorium lobby area for our conversation. As soon as the conversation began we started to talk about some pretty deep and controversial topics because he just came from a class where he had to debate gay marriage. We were talking about gay marriage in China as well as in the United States and he said that people here seem to be much more open to gay marriage than in China. We were talking about the fact that some states actually legalized gay marriage and he said that he thinks China is going to pass laws to protect gay rights for people. Since China is so populated they have a high gay population, so it would make sense to pass laws to protect their rights, although right now gay marriage is illegal in China. We both discussed our views on the topic, which were similar to each other, and from there went on to discuss drugs, alcohol, and race.

            He asked me what I thought about the drinking age being 21 in the United States and whether or not I thought that it should be lowered. I had to think about this for a second because I had never really considered what I thought about the law. I told him that I think no matter what the age becomes, people below the age are always going to try and drink. If anything, it would be smarter to raise it to 25 because that is when your brain is considered fully developed. But, raising it to 25 would cause way too many problems because there would be uproar against it. So I decided that it should stay where it is. He said that in China it is 18, but no one enforces the law and he believes it would be smarter if they were stricter about the law and raised it to 21 as well. He said that in China they consume a lot of alcohol and he doesn’t think that they should consume so much, especially at a young age. Then, drunk driving came up. He said that he couldn’t grasp why so many people in America drive while intoxicated and he wondered why they don’t stop because of the harm it is causing so many people. I didn’t have an answer for him. I felt bad that I didn’t have an answer for him because for some reason I feel obligated to have an answer for every question he asks about the United States. Maybe it’s because he always seems to have an answer for me when I ask about China. I think I also fear that I will look ignorant about my own country if I don’t have an answer for him when he asks me a question. Regardless, I had to tell him that I didn’t know why so many people do it and I agreed with him that it is a very bad thing and something that causes a lot of harm that should be stopped.

            After that topic we were talking about fall break. He asked me what I did and whether or not I had a good time and I asked him the same. Small talk. But then he said that he wishes he could get out of this place. That statement really caught me off guard. “What?” I asked, “Why would you say that?” He went on to tell me that he is really stressed out and that he needs to relax, but when he relaxes he gets more behind on things and he stresses out more. Then I realized he is a student just like me. I’m not sure why but I didn’t perceive him as having the same problems as I do and now I realize that it was extremely ignorant and stupid of me to think that way. So I began to talk to him about what was bothering him. He explained that the IEP is giving him a lot of stress because TCU is requiring him to be in the program but the scholarship he receives doesn’t cover the cost, so he has to pay for it with his money. He is frustrated at the fact that he is in the program in the first place, because he failed the English proficiency exam by one point. He said that he already knew how to speak English and to be put in the program just causes more stress and more work on him that he does not have the time for. So I tried to give him a little advice on the situation, but mainly just listened to him talk to me about it. Most of the time, people just need to talk to someone about their problems to get it off of their chest. So I was there to listen to everything that Tristan had to say to try and make him feel a little bit better about what he was going through. I felt really good knowing that he trusted me enough to talk to me about his problems and that he could open up to me and have faith in me to tell me these things. I can’t imagine how hard it is to attend school in another country that speaks a different language and then have something like the IEP program on top of school work. He works really hard every day and I feel bad that he feels as though there is no reward or results at the moment. I gave him some advice and told him to contact me anytime he needed anything and I wouldn’t hesitate to help him out. He ended our conversation by telling me that he always enjoyed meeting with me and always looked forward to it because he always left feeling happy. I returned his comment back to him, because I truly felt the same way. Leaving the auditorium I felt a sense of inner happiness and peace knowing that, even if it was just a little bit, I was relieving some of the stress that Tristan was feeling.